I'm writing this because I think it might help someone. A lot of times I hesitate to write something because it sounds too crazy or too personal or too whatever else. Over time I've found that we have a whole world of people that are doing the same thing. The result is that so many of us feel a lot of the same things, but no one is saying so. Maybe you'll read these blog posts and say, "I'm so glad I'm not the only one who's felt that way!"
Ignorance is bliss.
I don't know who said this first, but they really are a genius. So many of the life-altering revelations in my life were the result of my obtaining a piece of simple knowledge. A lot of times it's something others already know and often something I've willfully ignored. When it finally hits me, my life changes--and usually that's a good thing.
This time is different. Last time we went through this, it was in ignorance. We didn't know how difficult it is to recover from surgery. We didn't realize how long the long process would be. We felt optimistic about being able to handle it rather well (and I'm glad for that). We don't have that luxury this time around.
Now I know how hard it can be. We've been through the unexpected and unanticipated. We've seen life from the perspective of the constant emergency.
I know it and know it well. And I don't want to go through it again.
Can I say this without sounding like a whiner?
I miss ignorance.