Saturday, December 31, 2016

2016

I don't have to explain 2016 to you. Unless this is the first post you've read, you'll know that it's been terrible. 2016 has been a year beyond emotional expression.

The difficulties of 2016 have been expressed over the course of punishing weeks that turned into months. Every struggling step told the story. The story of weary days and nights somehow turned into a year.

Tonight that year is over. I'm so glad.

But let's not say it was all bad. Sure there was that stage IV cancer thing. Riots on the streets of my hometown. The car unexpectedly quitting on me for good. The ugly election. Dear friends calling other dear friends stupid, ignorant, racist, whatever as a result of the ugly election. That happened and I don't know that it helps pretending like it didn't.

Even with all these things happening in our daily lives, it's not like we walked around all inconsolable all the time. We still laughed together, had special times building great memories together, teased each other, made new friends, ate amazing homemade food, stayed up too late (probably  while eating amazing homemade food).  In so many ways the year was wonderful.


And people were wonderful to us. Our family never knew how much we were loved than when our whole world exploded into flames and our friends and family came running.

Some of the toughest memories of the year will always have a touch of sweetness to them because they bring along with them the thought of a friend who came by just at the right time. Undoubtedly, some of you reading this right now were among those people. Thank you.

2017 hands us all kinds of uncertainty. You all know what the doctors have said and can probably understand why we aren't really looking for relief to miraculously come by flipping a page on a calendar. We know that only Jesus can help us through this. Whether this all gets better or worse when the clock strikes twelve, we still have joy in our grief.

So we're dispensing with the idea of making 2017 a good year. Or even a "better" year for that matter.

In 2017 we're chasing after time.  Good times, bad times, time lost, time wasted, time stolen, time spent doing and being the important things. The things that build relationships. The things that last.

Those kind of moments quickly turn into days. And those days turn into years. And those kind of years are always good ones.

Let's get started. Now.

1st stop: the California Redwoods

2nd stop: Disneyland

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Everything just changed

In mid-December, Anne-Marie went in for her quarterly scans. This included the typical bone scan and CT scan. On the following Friday, we were back at Compass for the every-three-weeks hormonal therapy treatment. The scan results were back and we anticipated reviewing the results with Dr. Smith during the pre-treatment consult.



Dr. Smith told us that Anne-Marie's treatment plan was canceled starting immediately. The scans showed that lymph nodes to the right of Anne-Marie's sternum had become enlarged.  This was concerning enough to the doctor that he not only decided to schedule a biopsy but also decided that the current Herceptin treatment was ineffective.

Matters became even more complicated when Anne-Marie mentioned that she noticed a bump near her collarbone.  Plans switched immediately from a lung biopsy to a biopsy of the bump.  So they scheduled us between holidays for a consult/biopsy/both/neither at Compass Oncology's Vancouver office.

We went to see Dr. Storm in Vancouver on Wednesday (12/28/16) and talked it over for an hour.  What we came up with was that the biopsy was impossible to do in the office.  Dr. Storm preferred to do the procedure in the hospital ASAP, but we couldn't get the schedule to work for next week.

So it's Tuesday, January 10.  We know nothing and won't until at least a few days after the biopsy.  All we know is people are concerned.  Including us.

However, we may just go ahead and enjoy the arrival of 2017.  Since there's nothing to do right now we'll make it a small deal until it needs to become a big deal.