Siege the day

The past three weeks has felt like cancer has us under siege. For the past 12 years we’ve always known when the pain would start and end. There was always a surgery date. Always a treatment cycle. All we had to do was make it through.

This time’s different because it’s the cancer, not the treatments, causing the pain. And it’s not just a twinge of pain, it’s constant. Anne-Marie is in so much pain she can only be up on her feet for a few hours a day.

Herceptin/Perjeta treatment #1 was on 1/29. It hasn’t helped so far. Our previous experience has always seen the greatest difference between treatment #2 and #3, so we’ll hold out hope for that.

Meanwhile, we’ve made ourselves comfortable as possible here at home. There are no big plans and if there were, they got canceled. My new job is full-time work-from-home, so it’s allowed me to keep almost all my attention on what’s going on here. Our time here is still enjoyable. And quiet. Very quiet.

Going from a life where you’re alway leaving home to one where you never *leave* home is a shock to the system. But we’re trying to make the best of it, understanding that whatever it is that’s happening here is beyond our control. If life demands simplicity then we will submit to its demands.

We know God is the ultimate decision maker in our situation. I don’t understand it and I’ll even admit I don’t like it, but we will continue to struggle to find contentment even while we’re surrounded.

It’s a war for peace.