New Chemo Now

Today is Anne-Marie's 41st birthday. She has been a lot of pain today, sleeping off and on. We kept things pretty quiet around the house, with Anne-Marie requesting her favorite Thai food via DoorDash.

Last Thursday was the end of the initial phase of the Tucatinib clinical trial.  Dr. Solti informed us that the trial was successful to the extent of what was reasonably expected.  The latest set of scans showed us that the trial drug did indeed stabilize (prevent growth and spread) of the cancer in the brain.  At the same time, the use of the drug combined with the reaction of the cancer in Anne-Marie's lungs confirmed what was has only been speculation for the past two years.  The scans revealed that the cancer in the lungs is a different cancer than all the other cancer in her body.  It's likely a mutation of the original breast cancer.  

This means that the treatment was not effective on the cancer in her lungs.  We learned instead that the cancer has been spreading for the past few months and is now in one of her kidneys.  For these reasons, Anne-Marie cannot stay on the clinical trial.

Instead she begins a conventional chemo on Thursday morning.  This has always been an option, just not a desirable one.  We are bracing ourselves for several very intense weeks.

All that said, I hate cancer.  I hate it.  It's like an unsatisfied fire.  A greedy animal that destroys just to enjoy destruction.  It's the playground bully that tells you he'll beat you up if you refuse to fight him. 

And I would do anything to make it better.  Give it what it demands.  I'd negotiate for a truce. 

But so far it's broken every treaty.  This month marks 14 years and the hopes of 2006, 2012, 2016 and 2018 are no longer on the table.  We fight for our now.