Friday, May 12, 2006, was Diagnosis Day.
I remember the time of day.
I remember how the room looked.
I remember what the doctor was wearing.
I remember the tone of his voice when he told us.
I remember that we went to Biscuits Cafe in Oregon City afterward to talk it over.
I remember getting sick on the meal.
I can still see us driving to Sunriver for the weekend to try to figure it all out.
15 years might have been too much to ask. Or too little. Or just enough.
I truly do not know anymore.
5 years later, we returned to Sunriver when 2012's recurrence happened during the same week in May.
That was 10 years ago this week. You told me the five reasons you didn't want to die:
- You were too young
- You didn't want the kids to have their mother taken again
- You wanted more time with me
- You had more things you wanted to do for God in ministry
- You hated cancer and wanted to show it that it wouldn't win
Well, you were too young, Anne-Marie, and the kids' mother was taken.
You got 10 more years with me, but wanted more.
You didn't get to finish all the stuff you wanted to do for God through your ministry to others.
But #5? Cancer didn't win. I'm calling that a unanimous decision for you.
So enjoy your 2021, Anne-Marie (if there's any time to be had where you are).
You're cancer free.
Your writing is deep and resonant. She seemed like a beautifully strong woman. It's clear you loved well and were loved. What a gift. I lost my beloved husband of 13 years to covid a few months ago and a friend just shared your blog with me. Thank you for writing. I understand the insurmountable loss all too well. It's unreal. All the thoughts. All the what- does -this- mean? All the what nows? Where to go from here? Forward whether we like it or not. What will we make of it? Thank you for your perspective and transparency. I'm rooting for your continued healing!
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