Have you ever looked at and/or completed one of those surveys you're supposed to post on myspace or Facebook? You know those ones that go like:
What's your favrite food? (they always have typos)
(Then you answer with a non-answer.) Franco-Amarican LOL <:)
Have you ever kissed somebody in the rain who starts with the letter K?
Dont you wish you knew?
If you were a superhero....
And on and on it goes. The reason I mention it is because those things quickly become the killer of my creativity. Being spoon fed questions only to turn around and give sarcastic answers hasn't really helped me hone my skills. Social networking has pretty much gone professional in this area. That's probably part of my problem.
How about this one? Discouragement. Being discouraged can sure take the heart out of everything you do real quick. I think I've had a lot of this in the last few months and it shows in my level of inspiration. Not that I'm not fighting against it and all, I just think I've had a string of disappointments that's kinda piled up on me. Eventually I became a little deflated. Now that I think about it, being inflated doesn't sound that good as an alternative. Regardless of my metaphorical inanity, understand that I'm trying to maintain the proper PSI. (so bad, so bad)
Being afraid--at least in context of the writing on this blog--that people won't like me if I say how I really feel. Sometimes it's really easy to give sterile updates about all the positive things that are happening and leave out all the messy emotions (and occasionally principled thinking) that went along with it. The blog becomes more like a newspaper about me. We report. You decide. Bllleckh! Who wants to read that? At the same time I tell myself that I don't care how many people read it: I'm gonna write what I want to write. But am I really?
No news. Ooooh this is a tough one. I think it goes hand in hand with the whole discouragement and being afraid thing. No news about the adoption. No news about the ministry. No news about the family. No news about my LIFE! We all feel like we're going nowhere sometimes. I fail to see the intrinsic value of life itself. I fail to celebrate the day to day. It's time to recapture a little bit of wonder.
Inspiration shouldn't come from anywhere but the heart. It's up to me to keep it in the right place.