I remember Mary Jean

This week marks 5 years since we lost my mother-in-law, Mary Jean Huffman, to cancer. Letting her go was one of the hardest things Anne-Marie and I ever faced. I've never really written about it here or anywhere because dwelling on it for more than a just a few minutes brings back those emotions from 9/25/2004. They become just as real as they were then.

The last few years of her life, we made it a point to spend time with her so we wouldn't have any regrets. I wish I could say our efforts were successful. But I regret how sad I was in her final days because I know how hard it must have been for her to see me like that. I regret that I only got to be her son-in-law for three short years. I regret that she'll never hold my two babies in her arms, which she wanted to happen before she died.

(Now that I've gotten this far, I know why I've never written this post.)

I don't regret that she never had to see Anne-Marie go through cancer. I don't regret that the dark, dark night we went through after her death changed us for the better and gave us courage to become what we are today. I don't regret that she is with Jesus.

Mary Jean with the three men she loved the most: Phil, Brian and Mike Huffman.