Search the mid 80's. You might find a little kid not quite old enough to understand that his parents marriage was falling apart. His mother tried to explain it to him, but he never quite understood.
Go back to the late 80's. You'll find a school-age boy living in a poverty-level rental home--a broken one. Mom had my brother and I sleep in one of the bedrooms and invited my aunt to use the other so they could split the rent. Mom slept on the couch in the living room for three years until she could afford a house.
Find me in the mid 90's drunk in my upstairs bedroom on Coke mixed with whiskey. I was praying for someone to hear me. To help me. Needing any kind of hope in my life. Knowing I couldn't make it on my own.
Jump to 2001. Search for a young man--three days married--kneeling in front of a chair in a small town in Mexico searching for answers. Wondering how he would fly home when planes were now used as weapons of terror. How would he lead his new family when all the rules had changed?
Search for me and find me. But you won't find me there anymore.
37 years ago, Andrae Crouch put it far better:
How can I say thanks
For the things You have done for me,
Things so undeserved,
Yet You gave to prove Your love for me.
The voices of a million angels
Could not express my gratitude.
All that I am and ever hope to be,
Lord, I owe it all to Thee