Running Away, Part Two

It was a short conversation with Dr. Smith. (Why did he have to wait until five in the afternoon?)

And so we drove south.  My mom didn't arrive until almost nine and so we knew it would be a late night.  The crazy irony of the whole rush departure is that Priceline put us in a 4-Star hotel Downtown Portland that we'd been wanting to stay in without spending the money.  So it was a midnight arrival at the Hotel Deluxe.

Photo by Planar

The hotel is a one of a kind boutique style deal right in the middle of a bad neighborhood.  It's a kind of art deco, 1940's-kitsch style place that has dedicated it's seven floor to the memory of the golden age of film.  There's velvet and mirrors and that war-era green all over the place.  We checked in at midnight and finally walked to get dinner at a hole in that wall called Cassidy's.  The place is next door to Crystal Ballroom, so people were filling the restaurant as they were leaving the concert of whatever local band . The place was packed out and loud.  It was just slightly scary.  Man, I love Portland.

 Food was cheap and delicious and we got out of there at almost 1 AM.  When we got back to the Deluxe we saw Dean Martin in the lobby.  Or maybe I was just hallucinating since it was past my bedtime.

When we woke up in the morning, we took a quick walk around town to see the sights on the mean streets of the Goose Hollow neighborhood.  The local soccer team plays here:

Our sightseeing didn't last long since Portland was really only a waypoint for our drive into the desert.

10 Reasons Why I Love Her

I was challenged to do this by some of my friends on Facebook. Here is my completely original list of 10 reasons* why I love her:

She's the strongest person I know

Superheroes go from tragedy to triumph in 24 pages. After watching her for all these years, I think Anne-Marie could do this. She walks straight through fire and into next month's issue. That's why she's my hero.

She exudes beauty

This is the one that most people might think of right away. Anne-Marie is a beautiful, feminine lady that makes everything around her beautiful.

She loves nerdy/intellectual things

You probably didn't know this, but Anne-Marie likes sci-fi, mysteries and stories of the wild west. Graceful as she is, she wants someone to be blown up or punched in the face. (OK, that might be a slight exaggeration...) She also has a soft spot for superheroes, but as I mentioned before, that's because she IS one.

She's acquainted with grief

One of the reasons Christ was so impacting is because of this. Anne-Marie has those certain qualities and virtues that can only be born out of suffering.

She has a natural grace and class

Good posture, hospitality, compassion and etiquette without pretension. Yeah. I pretty much take these for granted most of the time.

She can say "I'm sorry"

Whether she got it wrong or in comfort to those who hurt, she is willing to say the two words that are sometimes hardest to say.

She has character

In order to develop my own integrity, I work hard to examine any possible way I could be taking advantage of others. Anne-Marie doesn't struggle with this nearly so much. She just IS this.

She isn't afraid to try something new

I can be crazy adventurous and spontaneous. Anne-Marie is not at all like that, but she doesn't just put up with my adventures: she willingly joins in.

She's fiercely loyal

Anne-Marie would stand by me if bullets were flying. If I'm wrong, she might tell me, but she would never leave my side.

She's still slightly mysterious to me

What can I say? There's just something about her.


*I have omitted the other million reasons for the sake of brevity.

Janelle and Stan - May 26, 2012

Today, my boy, Stan, is marrying his friend, Janelle.  It kills me that I can't be in Minnesota to celebrate with them.

See you guys next month at the reception!

Happy 33rd Birthday!

Running Away, Part One

Running away from your problems never works.  Welllll, almost never.  It depends on what you're trying to accomplish by doing so.  Even still, I highly recommend it.

At our house, May 10, 2012, was the day it all caved in.  Ironically, exactly six years after Anne-Marie's initial diagnosis of cancer, we were told that it had recurred in an area only an inch away from where it was originally.  I find it hard to believe, but this time was actually more difficult than the first.  Let me explain why after this short parenthetical statement:

(Anne-Marie was originally diagnosed with cancer on 5/12/06. This blog started 2 days later. And, yes, I know that I usually mark those anniversaries here on the blog, but I've been lost between the distracted and the distraught.)

I guess last time we were both young and ignorant.  We hadn't already gone through the six-year-long beatdown process of trying to survive cancer.  (Which, by the way, can be rather tiring.)  By now, we've already experienced the ups and downs, twists and turns, ebbs and flows.  

Anne-Marie gave it her best.  In fact, if you've been reading since the very beginning, you probably know that she went through the most extreme level of treatment to ensure that this would not happen again.  This treatment plan and the surgery(s), chemo and post-process stuff she went through was beyond inconvenient.  Sometimes it was downright excruciating.

But in February 2012, Anne-Marie made it.  Not completely unscathed, but she made it.  And I gotta say that felt really good.  It had been 72 months of intense effort to win a battle that we deemed winnable.  And we did it.  We kicked cancer right in the backside and prepared to move into as normal a life as could be possible.  All of our friends and family knew.  All of you knew ('cause we posted it right here).  Things could only get better.

After all, the doctors said that because of the extremities Anne-Marie endured in treatment the chances of recurrence after five years were basically 0%.

Basically, they were wrong.  Can you see why we took it so hard?

So on the evening of May 10, 2012, after getting off the phone with Dr. Smith, we decided to run away.  My mom came up from Portland to watch the kids.  As she was driving to Tacoma, we were packing our bags.  We needed to get away.

To talk.  To think.  To pray.  To listen.

Running away was good for us.  I'll write the second part of this post--about our road trip--later today, tomorrow or after the holiday weekend.

The first step: UW

An appointment has been scheduled for a consultation on Friday, June 1st, at the University of Washington's cancer center in Seattle.

Seattle Cancer Care Alliance is one of the top-rated institutions for cancer care in the nation, and #1 west of the Rockies.  SCCA has a multidisciplinary approach to treatment, which means I will be seen by three different oncology specialists (radiological, surgical, and medical) during the consult appointment.

After the exam, they will meet together to talk about my situation, then bring us in for one final consult to present their recommended treatment plan to us.  The appointment is scheduled to last from 11 to 5, so it will be a long day for us.  The consult will help us decide a possible next step, whether it's surgery or more tests (or something completely different).

New to the team: Anne-Marie

I've decided this blog is just too much work, so I'm bringing in help.  I've added Anne-Marie as an author of the blog.  I figure that she would be the most qualified at explaining some of the things going on around here.  Hopefully, I can get her to post at least once in a while.

What's next (?)

This post should be to inform you of the first step in the treatment process, but we haven't figured that out yet.  Anne-Marie should be talking to her doctor today.  Whether that's to schedule a consult, a scan, an operation: we don't know.  We'll talk about it.

Since whatever we do just might involve a trip to the hospital, please help us out by voting in our fun new poll! ----->

Peace

Our society feeds on drama.  Probably everyone reading this likes a good dramatic story.  I know I do.

But the way they tell stories is different than real life.  The fact is, amongst all the plot twists of life, we have an undercurrent of peace.  I don't embrace it as much as I want to or probably should sometimes, but it's always there.

Extremes of emotions take over occasionally--along with the random episodes of complete irrationality,--but we are held together by a force of divine tranquil.  It makes all the drama less dramatic and all the trauma less traumatic.

Our lives are not even close to boring, but they're closer to serene than you may think.

Preliminary diagnosis

A type of darkness fell over our home on Thursday, May 10, 2012. The doctors have confirmed that Anne-Marie's cancer has returned. Treatment plan is pending.

This week marks exactly six years since her first diagnosis.  Read about what happened in 2006 here and here.